Acute Discomfort

This treacherous body of mine
Betrays me without fail
My spine twists as if to break apart
Wrenching my muscles to tear
Each joint holds a promise to ache
Each nerve screams in agony
My stomach roils to sickness
While my chest tightens to crush
I do my best to calm the storm
Holding still and tense
Pushing down the rising panic
Relearning how to breathe
Waiting until this fades away
Trying to remember time without pain
Willing the tears back
Knowing this too shall pass

I saw in Louisiana a live-oak growing,
All alone stood it, and the moss hung down from the branches;
Without any companion it grew there, uttering joyous leaves of dark green,
And its look, rude, unbending, lusty, made me think of myself;
But I wonder’d how it could utter joyous leaves, standing alone there, without its friend, its lover near—for I knew I could not;
And I broke off a twig with a certain number of leaves upon it, and twined around it a little moss,
And brought it away—and I have placed it in sight in my room;
It is not needed to remind me as of my own dear friends,
(For I believe lately I think of little else than of them;)
Yet it remains to me a curious token—it makes me think of manly love;
For all that, and though the live-oak glistens there in Louisiana, solitary, in a wide flat space,
Uttering joyous leaves all its life, without a friend, a lover, near,
I know very well I could not.
- Walt Whitman

While going through old journal posts, I found this- it perfectly stated what I was going through during a difficult time, and it's still one of my favorite poems. This will probably be the only time I post something I didn't write myself!

Sibling Pain

The years grow between us
Pulling this connection to the breaking point
I am helpless to prevent the fracture
And it hurts me
I am a stranger to you
You are a mystery to me
We share needless silence
And it hurts me
The same blood flows through us
The same pain binds us
All this is useless in the face of your neglect
And it hurts me
I am muted, unable to tell you
I am ignored, unable to show you
We are not so different, you and I
And it hurts me
Opposing coasts, morning to night
Miles, hours, dreams, memories
All these crowd the space between us
And it hurts me
Mutual invalid insecurities
Keeping fingers from the phone
Pride and shame holding equal power
And it hurts me
Time is said to heal this
A future of reconciliation
But for now, all I can do is wait
And it hurts me

Cat Cranky

Did not sleep enough
Woken up in dead of night
My cat is spiteful.

Saturday Haiku

Lazy hours glide by
Sleep and wakefulness at war
What shall I do next?

Sweet Surrender

As the sun sliding over the horizon
Gold creeping along the edges
I feel this steady building
A heavy expansion from within
Gently pushing against my ribcage
Delicately tapping at the tip of my spine
Echoing through the caverns of my mind
Caressing my skin from within
Spreading this glinting sensation
As surely as the rays pierce the sky
Warming my nerves to tingle
Setting my flesh to blushing heat
My eyelids flutter against the sound
My muscles clench in languorous desire
Chills race across and through me
And I don’t even try to fight this
My fingers itch to express
My knuckles ache with emotion
My shoulders stretch to ease the tension
My neck drops in surrender
I know better than to focus
I give in to this sensation
The eternal hope of dawn
The constant relief of music

Beautiful Trifecta

In a strange land, a home
Sisters once strangers
Woken to all the wonders before unknown
Forging a bond made of loyalty and love
A shifting of weights and measure
So as to keep a divine balance
Strengths, weaknesses, knowledge
Sliding to and fro in a steady flow
Laughter, tears, smiles, fears
Shared readily and without shame
A hidden glance, a secret smirk
All part of the chosen language
We did not see this coming
It was not something I could have hoped for
An arrival, a greeting, a surprise
A story of gratitude, a poem of sweetness
These thoughts I pull around me
To shelter from the wind and storm
They are a steady comfort
When all seems lost and dark
We are the hidden sisters
Genetics and bloodlines
Traded for kindness and devotion
DNA switched with cream cheese icing
Eyes the colors of earth, sea and sky
Hair the colors of the sunset
Carving words from our minds
In ways different yet the same
We speak through lyrics
And sing through cell phones
We barter precious time
So it can be well spent in each other’s company
We challenge the distance
Traveling from valley to ocean to inland
Holding court where we can
And clutching the hours we are granted
The years are kind to us
We are the wine of stolen time
This glory we have found and fostered
Is cradled in our hearts and grows with each beat.