Entertaining after the fact

Sitting in a chair, feeling my spine twist
As he feels the muscles, tries to ease the pain
He freezes, fingers tense
Fearing he caused the crooked bones
We perch at the end of the hallway
Misshapen forms in leather, vinyl, velvet
I see a monster lurching toward me
Is it real? An illusion brought about by chemicals?
A giant with a stretched face
Fetish gear and whips
Only later do I find out
He was Chewbacca
Spending hours in a darkened room
Illustrating spirit animals while listening to harmonious violence
A lovely girl goes to use the bathroom
And doesn’t exit for hours
She is in the elevator to hell
We are the demons who tempt and torture her
She is Adam, she is Eve
She is the Beginning and the End
We careen through the Quarter
Alligator dragons
RBG monsters on bicycles
Melting faces of mimes once beloved
A friend thought lost
Finds his way to us
Across the city
Following the trail of feathers
We travel to the Gulf
Hold court in a minivan
Journey across the sand
A desert made of dead infants
Crying out, faces in agony
I keep my eyes on the distance
So as to not look down
When I step on their noses

Reminisce

There is no way you can understand the pain, and I pray you never do. Imagine your secret, sacred heart- the place where all is known. A danger is coming, and while you wish nothing more than to stay, you know you must leave. Your dearest friends are gone, left to an uncertain destination. You try to beat the stampede, but are caught in the mad throng of fearful abandonment. Over fourteen hours to make a journey that would usually take two. Hoping against hope that it's not as bad as they say. Sitting in a hotel lobby, alone, watching the horror unfold in grainy resolution. Watching your home, your love, your life washed away in dirty storm water. Watching people wade through a stew of oil and filth. Hearing stories of violence and murder and pain. Seeing the spray-painted signs on doors, knowing there is human rot waiting behind. These images are etched over the memories you have made. The street you had walked down countless times is the scene of death- corpses left in the street, a discarded blanket the only cover. The bar you spent hours at, talking with friends, is making a desperate stand against looters and villains. Knowing it will be a long time before you can return home, and that the life you lived is completely gone forever. You bide your time in a city you grow to hate. You try to prepare yourself for what it will be like when you're finally allowed to return home. Relief mixes with dread, mixes with hope, mixes with despair. When you make the long journey home, you are greeted with a shadow of the former glory. What once was bright and joyous is now feeble and fragile. The water lines on houses. The dirt in the air. The mountains of refuse. The stench of spoiled food from fridges on every corner. The absence of music. The city is a ghost town. There are more military vehicles than civilian. Your friends are gone, scattered to the winds. You don't know if you'll ever see them again. You stagger down the familiar streets and search for something to cling to. You are home. But you know nothing will ever be the same.

6 Years

A witness to a drowning
Helpless to all but observation
A spectator, bound by distance
Unable to act on any impulse
A tourist in a hotel lobby
Transfixed at the bar
Given french fries in comfort
While watching a mother die
The winds blow
The water rises
The people suffer
The city is left to rot
Time aches for an uncertain future
Loved ones are scattered to the winds
This purgatory is all that’s left
This ache is all I know
I hold it together for her
I hold it in for myself
I hold out for the hope of home
And still I shed no tears.

You are with me
I carry your memory always
A light against the darkness
A shield against the pain
You are with me
I see you in the stars
Feel you in the wind
Taste you in the salt water sea
You are with me
The hours we have spent, the blood in my veins
The laughter we have shared, each beat of my heart
The tears we have wept, the lines on my face
You are with me
Your living was a gift
Your leaving was a sacrifice
Your absence is a reminder of my love for you

Past Moments

These moments of you and I
They hang around, taunting me
Little reminders of the past
Little scars to pick at
Wandering darkened cities of death
My own personal paparazzo
Cloistered in the delinquents’ hangout
Sketching ink and follicle
Dancing angels in abandoned garages
While tears meet sweat-sticky skin
Open empty hours by the phone
Counting seconds marching into the night
Dancing round each other and the issues
Moving against each other in defiance
My first gift of velvet and dangerous metal
The final goodbye of bitter pixilated regret
Wandering the labyrinth of wood and paper
Hoping to avoid you and your new love
Wandering the grid of glittering cobblestones
Hoping to forget you, my love
Nights perched on the edge of the gutter
Weaving through crowds with abandon
My Quarter consort and companion
My treacherous jester, deceitful and cruel
That first moment of discovery
Painting the hair of a militant prankster
That first moment of realization
With stars, tattered cloth, and salty air
The final moment of pretense
Where I called you out and you shut me off
The final moment of waste
Such a long journey, so little time to spare
I remember all these things
What I once held so dear
Now I place them back on the shelf
And wander to a different space

The one who had served us, we had betrayed
Sent behind bars for a crime he did not commit
You knew you would need the opportunity
“His time in prison will give me time to pay them back”
We stood at the edge where land meets air meets ocean
The cliff near our mansion by the sea
Crystal balls stood sentinel on the edge
Small nests held groups of clear globes
I would hold the larger ones to my chest
Then throw them towards the water
Watching them as they rolled down the dirt
And came to rest on the sand dunes
You asked me if I regretted moving to be near you
I turned to you and replied, “No.”
“The water echoes my meditation
Each breath is a wave rushing in and through me.”

Acute Discomfort

This treacherous body of mine
Betrays me without fail
My spine twists as if to break apart
Wrenching my muscles to tear
Each joint holds a promise to ache
Each nerve screams in agony
My stomach roils to sickness
While my chest tightens to crush
I do my best to calm the storm
Holding still and tense
Pushing down the rising panic
Relearning how to breathe
Waiting until this fades away
Trying to remember time without pain
Willing the tears back
Knowing this too shall pass