Homesick

The city is in my blood.

The city is my Mother.

I have seen her in such beautiful blooms, draped in magnolias and crowned with stars. I have seen her crawling, bleeding and broken with feeble gasps of pain. I see her in that quiet space, the pause before creation. I see her.

Her roots are in me. I am tethered, tied to her. My thoughts are held prison by all that she is. Her music, that blend of joy and sorrow. Her taste, of the ocean and tradition. Her laughter, the careening notes of the steamboat pipes. Her secrets, the countless streets and alleys bedecked with color and noise and mystery. All these things, they haunt me.

She is my muse. I could write a sonnet, a haiku, an ode to her every single day. Nothing will ever truly express how I feel for her. These consonants and syllables are so hollow, they scatter when I attempt to gather them up, a bouquet of my sentiments.

I will be eternally vulnerable to any mention of her, any vision, any reference. I will always ache for her. I will always love her.

She is my most secret hidden heart. Wandering the corridors of my bloodstream. Pulsing with every breath I take.

The city is in me.

Haunted Playgrounds

My past haunts are part of who I am- the countless hours I've spent, the secrets I've shared while there, the joy and sadness alike.... They stay with me.

Uptown Square

Many of my earliest memories are of this place. It was 2 blocks away from our house in the Garden District. My brother and I would ride our bikes over and spend all day in the shopping area. There was a novelty store that sold Warheads, as well as a dollar theatre- complete with creepy concession stand guy. It was where I saw Nightmare Before Christmas when it first came out in theatres. I used to imagine being proposed to in Uptown Square- that my future husband would know how much love I associated with it, and would seek to add to those

happy associations. Now it's abandoned- it's the site of a weekly Farmers Market, but that's

about it.

Audubon Park

I used to live less than a block away from Audubon Park. My brother and I would walk through it on the way to/from school every day. On our days off, we would ride our bikes through the golf courses and search for abandoned golf balls. We climbed countless trees and explored for countless hours. I used to feed squirrels and pretend they were my pets.

French Quarter AKA Vieux Carre

I've lost myself in its streets countless times. It is my muse, my siren, my most secret and beloved heart. As you walk through hidden corridors and dark alleys, the dischordant tunes of the steamboat permeate the air. The smells vary from heady perfumes to savory dishes to nauseating body odor. Tarot card readers set up camp next to jazz musicians and people leisurely dance in the street.The warm air embraces you like the city herself is passionately kissing you. These streets have held nightmares for me, and they have saved me from countless heartbreaks. So many times I would wander the streets alone in the middle of the night, and no harm came to me. The city has always kept me safe.

Lake Lawn Cemetery

Cities of the dead, and with such beautiful architecture- The tombs are inspiring. Whenever I come here, I feel such love. The only time I've been apprehensive in a cemetery was when my friends and I would visit at 3 in the morning. But even then, I was more fearful of some random crazy bum than any ghost. You could spend hours here and still miss out on something amazing and inspiring. The dead are guarded well, and their monuments are made with reverence.