We were of a mind to tell the future

So we gathered from far off corners

So as to renew bonds

And strike new confidences

We feasted on juicy bejeweled crowns

Spiced meats mysterious

Bloody fruits and muddled flowers

Handmade comforts tasting of love

The cards were drawn with bated breath

Liberty, Bondage, Nature, Defeat, Innocence

We rationalized fate

And challenged preconceived notions

“A card is thin sliced paper,

Too fragile to hold such a heavy burden”

Though words made light of shadows

Fear still holds quite a weight

Thus we keep an eye on the horizon

So as to avoid deadly pitfalls

And cling to like minds

Who will understand our trepidation

I dance away my concerns

With music made poetic

I write off my doubts

With words made lyrical

This is all I can hope

The year will be well

My actions will be wise

I will not fall to self-fulfilling prophecy.

Love Poem to Oneself

Pillow lips the color of satisfied flesh

Eyes the color of sky

A chin set to show uncompromising belief

Hair like a curtain of satin, straight and fine

Spine curved in a neverending quest

Wrist bones delicately angled

Clavicles gently arching

Calves supple and strong

Toes so small and precise

A cunning mind

ever searching for new perceptions

so as to properly document the world

A devoted heart

fiercely protective of so few

made strong by years of loss

A full soul

willing to have taken the journey

and grateful to have yet to reach the destination.

These are all beautiful things.

So biased and yet so universal.

Combinations and preferences all defy beauty

But mine is unique and my own.

Mental Claustrophobia

The walls inch ever closer

My shoulders twitch

My temples throb

Fingers itching for a way out

All is helpless panic

I drop to my knees

Drag my hands across the floor

Tears blinding me

Searching for a backdoor I might have missed

I clench my eyes

Tighten my fists

I must break through

Find a new tomorrow

One I can control

I must do this for myself

A disciplined action

To counterbalance

Endless selfish gestures

Step by step

Drag myself through

Little by little

Until the end is in sight

I have just started.

Jealousy Playlist

1. Depeche Mode - Only When I Lose Myself (Dan The Automator Mix)

2. Mandalay - Insensible

3. Sleepthief & Kyoko Baertsoen - Just Say It

4. Florence + The Machine - Hurricane Drunk

5. Morrissey - We Hate It When Our Friends Become Successful

6. The Cure - Why Can't I Be You?

7. Esthero feat. Shakari Nyte - In Tha Mood

8. The Dresden Dolls - Backstabber

9. Chicks On Speed - Give Me Back My Man

10. Frou Frou - Close Up

11. Tori Amos - Precious Things

12. Halou - Feeling This Is Like To Fall Awake

13. Bjork - Enjoy

14. She Wants Revenge - I Don't Want To Fall In Love

15. The Presets - Girl (You Chew My Mind Up)

Earth Sun and Sky

merging, intertwining, pushing apart

Their boundaries firmly established in the winter cold

The white tipped mountains thrust against the skyline

All colors crisp and saturated

The air's chill magnifying each pigment

Oh, but during the summer haze

All is one and undefined, yellow and grey and blazing

The striation of hues blending off into eternity

Creating a wearied prison of neutrality

Dulling the senses, straining the soul

Until violent bursts of color erupt

Crimson, cerulean, saffron, emerald

Photosynthesis rebellng against carbon monoxide

Creating vivid murals against the soil

Until each moment is magic

the earth is adorned

the sun is golden

the sky merely observes

Rambling

Race against time

Race against your heart

Rage against all you believe in

This soul of yours,

it is more powerful than you could ever give it credit for

Trust in the alleys through which blood flows

And the nerves that betray your pain

So that when you are forlorn and forgotten

you remember all that you truly are

Synapses firing

perceptions reflecting

Dreams projected

You are more than the sum of your parts,

of which there are already so many.

This city prevents me from the stifling claustrophia
The sky stretches out into eternity, the mountains cradle the skyline
While salted winds playfully collide among the palm trees
Even though the ground is barren, I have sprouted roots
I no longer need spanish moss to tether me to my love for a city
I have strong and stable footing, the gravity of my confidence anchors every step
I look to the sky for comfort
Its innocent blue, sunsets the color of easter, sunrises the texture of creation
The ominous yellow creeping low against the hills
the mirror that is the ocean, where light refracts in neverending waves
I look to myself for strength
My heart is filled to the brim with glorious love
The curve of my spine cradles all the butterflies in my stomach
My soul is strong and sure in the knowledge that I follow a clear path
I look to the city for inspiration
The lofty hills and their view of all that is laid out before me
The rolling and rocking of the Metro and its invitation to hidden treasures
The countless cultures and their coy demonstrations of influence
There is so much here, if you only allow yourself to see it
It's difficult to fall in love with this city, it's all too easy to desire it
But there's so much more than the streets heavy with dreams of fame
And the flashing lights of glory and lust
There is music and there is laughter and there is beauty
All you have to do is gently search it out

War

My love fought and twisted and struggled

Til my skin ached and my bones were broken

A boiling riptide of anger swept through my veins

Til I was flushed with pain and shame

These secrets built up, all the skeletons hidden away

Til I could no longer share my thoughts, for fear of what would be revealed

The ties bound me, Your words blinded me, My love held prisoner

For years I held against hope

And nights I held it all in

Until I could bear no more

And I gave up all the wishes and dreams I had of a life lived with you

So I could make new ones of a life lived for myself

Annoyance

These thoughts need to be curbed

Racing faster and faster in dangerous circles

This heart needs to slow

Beating as if to break free

These hands need to be still

Shaking, shimmering, clenched white

Close my eyes

Slow breaths

Calm mind

Seek control

This shall pass

Time is inescapable, a mixed blessing

Give in to this moment with grace

And know that it is not forever

Day to Night

The day loses to the night

Gracefully sliding away

Leaving behind neon tracers

Glowing bright against the horizon

Before bleeding into the inky sky

The day loses to the night

Taken like a lover’s kiss

Pulled away from the warmth

Sheltered in the eclipse

Adored by starry skies

The day loses to the night

Every sundown, its dying breath

Slipping past all it has known

Lost to another cycle of oblivion

The day loses to the night

The moon reigns regal

The shadows flood the cities

All is deep and still and dark

Until the night loses to the dawn