Tuesday, November 29, 2011

There had been a fire years ago
And the only company the house had was ghosts
I had gone in on a recovery mission
Hoping to find something among the ashes
There on a table, surrounded by debris and dust
A sketchbook of yours, pristine and untouched
Inside, I found a reflection
Myself, in sketches, memories, and photos
All the angles, all the colors, all the textures
Black and blonde and red hair
Dresses made of feathers and velvet and lace
Sunsets on the beach, parties in the kitchen
I saw my youth in all its vibrant glory
All my mistakes and rewards
I gazed at the proof of my former beauty and foolishness
Then searched for you so I could return it

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Time Passing

My breathing slows of its own volition
To pace the sweeping melody of the strings
My lungs contract, expand, fill, release
As if to absorb every note flowing through the music
I am dizzy, I am spellbound, I am lost
Moved by such elegant beauty
To the point where seconds cease to pass
And I am invisible to the world
This moment of stilled storm
As my heart aches with joy
My eyes glaze and drift shut
My soul is quiet and at peace.

Mapping

I find what’s familiar and I follow the old routes
Mentally navigating past haunts and favorites
These geographic daydreams of mine
Help temper the bitter distance of miles and years
Making my way through varied neighborhoods
From Frenchman to Decatur to Canal
Winding along River Road to Clearview
Downtown to Uptown to Metairie to Kenner
I could spend hours driving through my hometown
Noting missed spots for future reference
Shying away from unnecessary landmarks and memories
Taking my time refreshing my internal maps
 

Friday, September 9, 2011

Entertaining after the fact

Sitting in a chair, feeling my spine twist
As he feels the muscles, tries to ease the pain
He freezes, fingers tense
Fearing he caused the crooked bones
We perch at the end of the hallway
Misshapen forms in leather, vinyl, velvet
I see a monster lurching toward me
Is it real? An illusion brought about by chemicals?
A giant with a stretched face
Fetish gear and whips
Only later do I find out
He was Chewbacca
Spending hours in a darkened room
Illustrating spirit animals while listening to harmonious violence
A lovely girl goes to use the bathroom
And doesn’t exit for hours
She is in the elevator to hell
We are the demons who tempt and torture her
She is Adam, she is Eve
She is the Beginning and the End
We careen through the Quarter
Alligator dragons
RBG monsters on bicycles
Melting faces of mimes once beloved
A friend thought lost
Finds his way to us
Across the city
Following the trail of feathers
We travel to the Gulf
Hold court in a minivan
Journey across the sand
A desert made of dead infants
Crying out, faces in agony
I keep my eyes on the distance
So as to not look down
When I step on their noses

Monday, August 29, 2011

Reminisce

There is no way you can understand the pain, and I pray you never do. Imagine your secret, sacred heart- the place where all is known. A danger is coming, and while you wish nothing more than to stay, you know you must leave. Your dearest friends are gone, left to an uncertain destination. You try to beat the stampede, but are caught in the mad throng of fearful abandonment. Over fourteen hours to make a journey that would usually take two. Hoping against hope that it's not as bad as they say. Sitting in a hotel lobby, alone, watching the horror unfold in grainy resolution. Watching your home, your love, your life washed away in dirty storm water. Watching people wade through a stew of oil and filth. Hearing stories of violence and murder and pain. Seeing the spray-painted signs on doors, knowing there is human rot waiting behind. These images are etched over the memories you have made. The street you had walked down countless times is the scene of death- corpses left in the street, a discarded blanket the only cover. The bar you spent hours at, talking with friends, is making a desperate stand against looters and villains. Knowing it will be a long time before you can return home, and that the life you lived is completely gone forever. You bide your time in a city you grow to hate. You try to prepare yourself for what it will be like when you're finally allowed to return home. Relief mixes with dread, mixes with hope, mixes with despair. When you make the long journey home, you are greeted with a shadow of the former glory. What once was bright and joyous is now feeble and fragile. The water lines on houses. The dirt in the air. The mountains of refuse. The stench of spoiled food from fridges on every corner. The absence of music. The city is a ghost town. There are more military vehicles than civilian. Your friends are gone, scattered to the winds. You don't know if you'll ever see them again. You stagger down the familiar streets and search for something to cling to. You are home. But you know nothing will ever be the same.

6 Years

A witness to a drowning
Helpless to all but observation
A spectator, bound by distance
Unable to act on any impulse
A tourist in a hotel lobby
Transfixed at the bar
Given french fries in comfort
While watching a mother die
The winds blow
The water rises
The people suffer
The city is left to rot
Time aches for an uncertain future
Loved ones are scattered to the winds
This purgatory is all that’s left
This ache is all I know
I hold it together for her
I hold it in for myself
I hold out for the hope of home
And still I shed no tears.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

You are with me
I carry your memory always
A light against the darkness
A shield against the pain
You are with me
I see you in the stars
Feel you in the wind
Taste you in the salt water sea
You are with me
The hours we have spent, the blood in my veins
The laughter we have shared, each beat of my heart
The tears we have wept, the lines on my face
You are with me
Your living was a gift
Your leaving was a sacrifice
Your absence is a reminder of my love for you

Friday, August 12, 2011

Past Moments

These moments of you and I
They hang around, taunting me
Little reminders of the past
Little scars to pick at
Wandering darkened cities of death
My own personal paparazzo
Cloistered in the delinquents’ hangout
Sketching ink and follicle
Dancing angels in abandoned garages
While tears meet sweat-sticky skin
Open empty hours by the phone
Counting seconds marching into the night
Dancing round each other and the issues
Moving against each other in defiance
My first gift of velvet and dangerous metal
The final goodbye of bitter pixilated regret
Wandering the labyrinth of wood and paper
Hoping to avoid you and your new love
Wandering the grid of glittering cobblestones
Hoping to forget you, my love
Nights perched on the edge of the gutter
Weaving through crowds with abandon
My Quarter consort and companion
My treacherous jester, deceitful and cruel
That first moment of discovery
Painting the hair of a militant prankster
That first moment of realization
With stars, tattered cloth, and salty air
The final moment of pretense
Where I called you out and you shut me off
The final moment of waste
Such a long journey, so little time to spare
I remember all these things
What I once held so dear
Now I place them back on the shelf
And wander to a different space

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

The one who had served us, we had betrayed
Sent behind bars for a crime he did not commit
You knew you would need the opportunity
“His time in prison will give me time to pay them back”
We stood at the edge where land meets air meets ocean
The cliff near our mansion by the sea
Crystal balls stood sentinel on the edge
Small nests held groups of clear globes
I would hold the larger ones to my chest
Then throw them towards the water
Watching them as they rolled down the dirt
And came to rest on the sand dunes
You asked me if I regretted moving to be near you
I turned to you and replied, “No.”
“The water echoes my meditation
Each breath is a wave rushing in and through me.”

Monday, July 25, 2011

Acute Discomfort

This treacherous body of mine
Betrays me without fail
My spine twists as if to break apart
Wrenching my muscles to tear
Each joint holds a promise to ache
Each nerve screams in agony
My stomach roils to sickness
While my chest tightens to crush
I do my best to calm the storm
Holding still and tense
Pushing down the rising panic
Relearning how to breathe
Waiting until this fades away
Trying to remember time without pain
Willing the tears back
Knowing this too shall pass

Sunday, July 24, 2011

I saw in Louisiana a live-oak growing,
All alone stood it, and the moss hung down from the branches;
Without any companion it grew there, uttering joyous leaves of dark green,
And its look, rude, unbending, lusty, made me think of myself;
But I wonder’d how it could utter joyous leaves, standing alone there, without its friend, its lover near—for I knew I could not;
And I broke off a twig with a certain number of leaves upon it, and twined around it a little moss,
And brought it away—and I have placed it in sight in my room;
It is not needed to remind me as of my own dear friends,
(For I believe lately I think of little else than of them;)
Yet it remains to me a curious token—it makes me think of manly love;
For all that, and though the live-oak glistens there in Louisiana, solitary, in a wide flat space,
Uttering joyous leaves all its life, without a friend, a lover, near,
I know very well I could not.
- Walt Whitman

While going through old journal posts, I found this- it perfectly stated what I was going through during a difficult time, and it's still one of my favorite poems. This will probably be the only time I post something I didn't write myself!

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Sibling Pain

The years grow between us
Pulling this connection to the breaking point
I am helpless to prevent the fracture
And it hurts me
I am a stranger to you
You are a mystery to me
We share needless silence
And it hurts me
The same blood flows through us
The same pain binds us
All this is useless in the face of your neglect
And it hurts me
I am muted, unable to tell you
I am ignored, unable to show you
We are not so different, you and I
And it hurts me
Opposing coasts, morning to night
Miles, hours, dreams, memories
All these crowd the space between us
And it hurts me
Mutual invalid insecurities
Keeping fingers from the phone
Pride and shame holding equal power
And it hurts me
Time is said to heal this
A future of reconciliation
But for now, all I can do is wait
And it hurts me

Monday, July 11, 2011

Cat Cranky

Did not sleep enough
Woken up in dead of night
My cat is spiteful.

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Saturday Haiku

Lazy hours glide by
Sleep and wakefulness at war
What shall I do next?

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Sweet Surrender

As the sun sliding over the horizon
Gold creeping along the edges
I feel this steady building
A heavy expansion from within
Gently pushing against my ribcage
Delicately tapping at the tip of my spine
Echoing through the caverns of my mind
Caressing my skin from within
Spreading this glinting sensation
As surely as the rays pierce the sky
Warming my nerves to tingle
Setting my flesh to blushing heat
My eyelids flutter against the sound
My muscles clench in languorous desire
Chills race across and through me
And I don’t even try to fight this
My fingers itch to express
My knuckles ache with emotion
My shoulders stretch to ease the tension
My neck drops in surrender
I know better than to focus
I give in to this sensation
The eternal hope of dawn
The constant relief of music

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Beautiful Trifecta

In a strange land, a home
Sisters once strangers
Woken to all the wonders before unknown
Forging a bond made of loyalty and love
A shifting of weights and measure
So as to keep a divine balance
Strengths, weaknesses, knowledge
Sliding to and fro in a steady flow
Laughter, tears, smiles, fears
Shared readily and without shame
A hidden glance, a secret smirk
All part of the chosen language
We did not see this coming
It was not something I could have hoped for
An arrival, a greeting, a surprise
A story of gratitude, a poem of sweetness
These thoughts I pull around me
To shelter from the wind and storm
They are a steady comfort
When all seems lost and dark
We are the hidden sisters
Genetics and bloodlines
Traded for kindness and devotion
DNA switched with cream cheese icing
Eyes the colors of earth, sea and sky
Hair the colors of the sunset
Carving words from our minds
In ways different yet the same
We speak through lyrics
And sing through cell phones
We barter precious time
So it can be well spent in each other’s company
We challenge the distance
Traveling from valley to ocean to inland
Holding court where we can
And clutching the hours we are granted
The years are kind to us
We are the wine of stolen time
This glory we have found and fostered
Is cradled in our hearts and grows with each beat.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Vacation

We greeted the city like an old friend
Desperate to reach the heart of it all
Wrapping our arms around each other
Threading our fingers through the sticky sweet air
We raced to the hidden soul of the Quarter
Bypassing all the obvious choices
And searching for darkened taverns
Where we could start decadent adventures
Friends were found
Stories were told
Laughter was shared
And much was booze was imbibed
As the days bled on
And the nights bloomed
The streets were rediscovered
And alleys explored
We lurched through the crowd
Drinking sugary fermented sour
Twisting among the foreigners
And slipping past the familiars
We broke apart crustaceans red and succulent
Rent our teeth into meat cured and shaved and tender
Drank all the city could offer us and more
Frozen and iced and chilled and intoxicating
We held court all over the dirty glorious streets
Spending hours on the balcony drinking jack and coke
Sitting in dappled sunlight sipping from weather inspired concoctions
Lounging under deceitful stars near carousels confusing
New Orleans opened herself to us more fully than ever before
Sending gentle breezes and lazy clouds
While the river swelled with passion
As if to slip over the levee to caress us in dangerous pleasure
The ghosts came out to play
The gutter punks were more generous than friends
All was mischevious and surprising
And we greedily drank it all in
All these beautiful adventures
Trapped in my heart and mind
Glimpses of what I had and will always long for
Proof that She will never cease to amaze me

Friday, April 29, 2011

Black water

I had crossed the pool, grabbing smooth black rock
Propelling myself to the shore, gliding through water
Each time more difficult than the last
But still I fought the current and made my way
I return to strangers
Standing in the shallows
Taking pictures
Pushing for a better view
A man had his pistol
Aiming to take shot
His wife overcome with passion,
Presses herself to him
I look away for a brief moment
Sharing a moment with my mother
We stand apart from the crowd
Looking down on the scene
A small lake rises into the sky
With butterflies of every color sipping from the water
All these beautiful insects floating on the dark mirror
Gently fanning their wings back and forth
A floating oasis steadily drifting ever upward

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Homecoming

I feel her roots twining through my heart
Grasping at strings and bringing tears to my eyes
She can tell I’m near and prepares for my arrival
With dreams, visions and fantasies
My soul floats between the two worlds
To where I’m uncertain as to my location
Do I careen among the palm trees
Or dance beneath shady oaks?
She waits for me, a bounty of love
Cobbled streets to tread
Loved ones to clasp my hands
Hours to while away in abandon
I see shadows of her in the heavy clouds
I hear the echo of her voice in the ocean
I feel her moist touch in the wind
My senses willingly betray me with their yearning for her presence
I am soon to see her
Soon to be welcomed in her embrace yet again
Yet each time the pain manifolds and manifests
When I once again tear myself away from her
To where my anticipation wars with regret
And I dread the trip equally as I desire
For I know it will be all too short
And my hours with her too limited
But I know she waits for me
Time is paid no heed
Love is as devoted as ever
For while she is in my heart, I am ever in hers

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Bejeweled

At first glance, a delicate thing
Slight frame topped with wild ringlets
Black leather, cotton and candy
Diminutive stature and sentiments
Then the form twists and shapes
Still slight, no longer shy
She shows her true nature
A vivid and vivacious badger child
Our friendship budded and bloomed
A string threaded through our souls
Creating a tapestry of love
Binding us together as kindred spirits and sisters
We careened through minimalist castles
Whispering snarky secrets and cackling mad
Reclining among graves and sipping on Hoya sweetness
We created microcosms wherever we went
The costumes we have played in
The roles we have slipped in and through
Dark sprites in shadowed chambers
Keepers of the magic mushroom missile
The adventures we have braved
The places we have gone
We have been cute, we have been dangerous
Spending hours in smoky lounges reeking of ambrosia
The city is our playground
And we gladly frolic through the urban jungle
Dancing wildly, laughing fearlessly
Our moments made eternal and our memories made legend.

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Loveliness

Never let me forget these moments of pure happiness
Sublime segments of time where I feel so full
As if God poured all the joy in the world into me
A blessed vessel of unfiltered gratitude
All alone, without someone else to distract me
From the ideal emotions coursing through these veins
Taking communion with myself, the very best version of all I am
Blocking out all other thoughts save for those of unimaginable grace
We are the lucky ones, we who are self-aware
Facing all these factors and reflections
Acknowledging all we experience
And knowing they are nothing less than miracles
Rage and sorrow are more than “having a bad day”
Ecstasy and empathy are more than “seeing the good in things”
These emotional equations are beautiful and complex
They truly are what make life so worth living
I will gladly take the worst of them with the best
For while the dark days are bitter, the light moments are so sweet.

Friday, April 8, 2011

Devotion

You’ll never know how much I truly love you.
These flames in my heart have been willingly tempered
So as to forge a blade to battle the years
You’ve resided in my soul for so long, a place worn familiar
So that even though miles divide us, I know you are near
You were placed so high on a pedestal that would cause vertigo
And would seem you were destined to fall and shatter in my sentiments
But I have made sure to provide steps for you to reach an equal level
So I can look straight at you and see you as you are
This evolution of our friendship, I wouldn’t trade it for the world
Never have I given so much calm effort and received so much in return
You know me, you know my flaws and struggles
So you know how hard I fight against myself to offer what I can
We have stalked the dark streets
We have wandered the sculptural landscape in dappled days
We have lost all we loved in water and wind
We have created new worlds in lands unknown
We have been divided by love and loss
We have been reunited by hope for a better future
No matter what happens in the days to come,
Know the days we have shared mean the world to me.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Elevated Signal

All those pinpoints of light
Far flung out to eternity
Surrounding us as we walk our road
Hands held and voices silent
I try my best to do justice
To the city laid out before me
This home I have created
This world I have explored
Thousands of fluorescent stars
Blanketing a darkened grid
While the sky fades neon shades
And the ocean is prismatic obsidian
These moments with you are stolen
Precious like sparkling jewels
Priceless and adored
Hidden to all save us

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Mardi Gras

Oh, take me to the Vieux Carre

Where the mad men run free and wild

I promise not to blush if you show me it all

And I promise I’ll dress in style

We can wage war in the streets

Over bright colored beads

And pretend they are made up of jewels

The horns, they will blare

And the tourists, they’ll stare

They’ll think we’re all made up of fools

But they won’t know the truth

Shared between me and you

That this is all so very fair

These days of halcyon glory

They tell only part of the story

And the rest only locals can share.

Back home, it’s a holiday.

Out here, it’s just another Tuesday.

And there’s something truly tragic about that.


Friday, February 18, 2011

Huntington

We set off to renew our promises

And catalogue new memories

The surreal landscape welcomed us

So that we could explore its mysteries

Dappled sunlight bathed us

And morning dew reflected all prism

I blinked and recorded all I could

While you led me through and through

Pointing out marvels many

We lost ourselves in the blinding labyrinth

And eavesdropped on scholarly converse

After, we escaped to reality

For sustenance physical and social

And imagined our possible empire

We came back and the world had changed

Crowded heat and heavy air

We rushed to discover hidden zen

And I gathered a pixilated bouquet for you

Fluffy pastel cloudy blooms all eager to fall

Carpeting the trail, crushed underfoot

We went as far as we could

Until the gathered shade was spent

And we shuffled our heavy feet home





Wednesday, February 16, 2011

.blank.

These thoughts are crowded in my head

Crammed tight to the point of silence

A wall of distraction keeping me from focus

Until all I can do is ……………

These limbs of mine are weighted

Held heavy to my side

The blood flows slower and still

Until all I can do is ……………..

These eyes of mine are glazed

Unable to hold ones gaze

Sliding across the landscape

Until all I can do is …………….

These words are becoming reluctant

Hiding shy behind my thoughts

My inspiration is fuzzy fading

Until all I can do is ……………

Monday, February 14, 2011

Valentine

I want to be in love with the world

And I want to take you with me

Grab your hand, lead you

To where the stars collapse

And the sun is merely a megawatt lightbulb

I want you to taste each moment

I want to you to feel all my thoughts

I want you to realize there’s so much more than this moment

These tears are not of sadness,

They are born of frustration

That I am unable to express all these desires to you

All I can do is open my arms wide

Desperate to embrace this world

Reach my fingers out

To grasp each dimension

I breathe in all the hidden wishes

Floating in the air, blown out with each wistful sigh

And I try to sing out the lyrics

Words of love, devotion, shame, rage, passion

So that I can play them back

And know all the beauty there is around me.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Pearl

The sea’s passionate kiss

Rushing in until all is full of salt and spray

Held tight in secret embrace

Tasted, treasured, kept hidden from all

Sheltered until pried out

Plucked and polished and caressed to gleam

Set atop a molten crown

Clutched tight in mysterious grasp

Such a small little moon

With hidden colors glistening

Subtle lights reflecting

Off of the creamy milk surface


Monday, January 24, 2011

We were of a mind to tell the future

So we gathered from far off corners

So as to renew bonds

And strike new confidences

We feasted on juicy bejeweled crowns

Spiced meats mysterious

Bloody fruits and muddled flowers

Handmade comforts tasting of love

The cards were drawn with bated breath

Liberty, Bondage, Nature, Defeat, Innocence

We rationalized fate

And challenged preconceived notions

“A card is thin sliced paper,

Too fragile to hold such a heavy burden”

Though words made light of shadows

Fear still holds quite a weight

Thus we keep an eye on the horizon

So as to avoid deadly pitfalls

And cling to like minds

Who will understand our trepidation

I dance away my concerns

With music made poetic

I write off my doubts

With words made lyrical

This is all I can hope

The year will be well

My actions will be wise

I will not fall to self-fulfilling prophecy.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Love Poem to Oneself

Pillow lips the color of satisfied flesh
Eyes the color of sky
A chin set to show uncompromising belief
Hair like a curtain of satin, straight and fine
Spine curved in a neverending quest
Wrist bones delicately angled
Clavicles gently arching
Calves supple and strong
Toes so small and precise
A cunning mind
ever searching for new perceptions
so as to properly document the world
A devoted heart
fiercely protective of so few
made strong by years of loss
A full soul
willing to have taken the journey
and grateful to have yet to reach the destination.
These are all beautiful things.
So biased and yet so universal.
Combinations and preferences all defy beauty
But mine is unique and my own.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Mental Claustrophobia

The walls inch ever closer

My shoulders twitch

My temples throb

Fingers itching for a way out

All is helpless panic

I drop to my knees

Drag my hands across the floor

Tears blinding me

Searching for a backdoor I might have missed

I clench my eyes

Tighten my fists

I must break through

Find a new tomorrow

One I can control

I must do this for myself

A disciplined action

To counterbalance

Endless selfish gestures

Step by step

Drag myself through

Little by little

Until the end is in sight

I have just started.

Monday, January 17, 2011

Jealousy Playlist

1. Depeche Mode - Only When I Lose Myself (Dan The Automator Mix)
2. Mandalay - Insensible
3. Sleepthief & Kyoko Baertsoen - Just Say It
4. Florence + The Machine - Hurricane Drunk
5. Morrissey - We Hate It When Our Friends Become Successful
6. The Cure - Why Can't I Be You?
7. Esthero feat. Shakari Nyte - In Tha Mood
8. The Dresden Dolls - Backstabber
9. Chicks On Speed - Give Me Back My Man
10. Frou Frou - Close Up
11. Tori Amos - Precious Things
12. Halou - Feeling This Is Like To Fall Awake
13. Bjork - Enjoy
14. She Wants Revenge - I Don't Want To Fall In Love
15. The Presets - Girl (You Chew My Mind Up)

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Earth Sun and Sky
merging, intertwining, pushing apart
Their boundaries firmly established in the winter cold
The white tipped mountains thrust against the skyline
All colors crisp and saturated
The air's chill magnifying each pigment
Oh, but during the summer haze
All is one and undefined, yellow and grey and blazing
The striation of hues blending off into eternity
Creating a wearied prison of neutrality
Dulling the senses, straining the soul
Until violent bursts of color erupt
Crimson, cerulean, saffron, emerald
Photosynthesis rebellng against carbon monoxide
Creating vivid murals against the soil
Until each moment is magic
the earth is adorned
the sun is golden
the sky merely observes

Rambling

Race against time
Race against your heart
Rage against all you believe in
This soul of yours,
it is more powerful than you could ever give it credit for
Trust in the alleys through which blood flows
And the nerves that betray your pain
So that when you are forlorn and forgotten
you remember all that you truly are
Synapses firing
perceptions reflecting
Dreams projected
You are more than the sum of your parts,
of which there are already so many.

Saturday, January 8, 2011





This city prevents me from the stifling claustrophia
The sky stretches out into eternity, the mountains cradle the skyline
While salted winds playfully collide among the palm trees
Even though the ground is barren, I have sprouted roots
I no longer need spanish moss to tether me to my love for a city
I have strong and stable footing, the gravity of my confidence anchors every step
I look to the sky for comfort
Its innocent blue, sunsets the color of easter, sunrises the texture of creation
The ominous yellow creeping low against the hills
the mirror that is the ocean, where light refracts in neverending waves
I look to myself for strength
My heart is filled to the brim with glorious love
The curve of my spine cradles all the butterflies in my stomach
My soul is strong and sure in the knowledge that I follow a clear path
I look to the city for inspiration
The lofty hills and their view of all that is laid out before me
The rolling and rocking of the Metro and its invitation to hidden treasures
The countless cultures and their coy demonstrations of influence
There is so much here, if you only allow yourself to see it
It's difficult to fall in love with this city, it's all too easy to desire it
But there's so much more than the streets heavy with dreams of fame
And the flashing lights of glory and lust
There is music and there is laughter and there is beauty
All you have to do is gently search it out

Thursday, January 6, 2011

War

My love fought and twisted and struggled

Til my skin ached and my bones were broken

A boiling riptide of anger swept through my veins

Til I was flushed with pain and shame

These secrets built up, all the skeletons hidden away

Til I could no longer share my thoughts, for fear of what would be revealed

The ties bound me, Your words blinded me, My love held prisoner

For years I held against hope

And nights I held it all in

Until I could bear no more

And I gave up all the wishes and dreams I had of a life lived with you

So I could make new ones of a life lived for myself


Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Annoyance

These thoughts need to be curbed

Racing faster and faster in dangerous circles

This heart needs to slow

Beating as if to break free

These hands need to be still

Shaking, shimmering, clenched white

Close my eyes

Slow breaths

Calm mind

Seek control

This shall pass

Time is inescapable, a mixed blessing

Give in to this moment with grace

And know that it is not forever

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Day to Night

The day loses to the night

Gracefully sliding away

Leaving behind neon tracers

Glowing bright against the horizon

Before bleeding into the inky sky

The day loses to the night

Taken like a lover’s kiss

Pulled away from the warmth

Sheltered in the eclipse

Adored by starry skies

The day loses to the night

Every sundown, its dying breath

Slipping past all it has known

Lost to another cycle of oblivion

The day loses to the night

The moon reigns regal

The shadows flood the cities

All is deep and still and dark

Until the night loses to the dawn